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Angry rant. [01 May 2007|12:23pm]
The only thing you have ever been entirely consistent in has been abandoning me when I need you most.
After the accident on friday, when I called you, and left you a message explicitly stating that I almost died, you still failed to call me.Come to think of it, ever since you came over 2 weeks ago and professed your undying love for me, you haven't said a single word to me. Sure, you teared up a little and got emotional and stuff...and yeah, you kissed me, and I had to ask you to leave...But is that a valid reason to stop being friends with me?
So fuck you, for never being there for me. When you love someone, you don't abandon them, no matter what the reason.You did it 3 years ago, you're doing it now, and I refuse to have any of it. Don't even think about picking the phone up now, because it's too fucking late.

In other news, I am no longer celibate, sort of disappointed in myself, and GRATEFUL AS HELL that Douglas and I are talking again.
I wouldn't be able to do any of this without him.
I love you,boy.
Kiss me?

[20 Mar 2007|12:51pm]

somehow, it always comes down to who we are
and not what happened
and not how we feel.

well, this is who i am.

                               you are the dumbest creature  alive to have expected any kind of emoting from the coldest girl on the planet. 
i don't regret anything i've done to you, and i don't regret the number of times i've kissed him
or let him fondle me in dark toronto alleys.
i don't regret caring about him more than i did about you.
i don't regret a single thing.

so here you go, be as bitter as you'd like... this is the truth that i kept from you for as long as i could bear.
seriously, you are such an idiot for believing a word i said that even implied i felt anything other than distaste towards you.

2 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

It's nothin' but time and a face that you lose... [20 Mar 2007|12:09am]
Further proof that Douglas and I are the cutest best friends ever!

2 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[05 Mar 2007|09:27am]
Etnically diverse dwarf marriages+ getting my sideburn pierced= WEEEIRD DREAM!
Kiss me?

[25 Feb 2007|03:02pm]
In other news, a zookeeper got severely punished for her stupidity.


That should teach anyone not to sass Jorge(HORHAY), the hispanic sounding Jaguar.

This is what I think happened:
Zookeeper: " I'm not supposed to be in here, but I am a rebellious zookeeper, and I will come in here and sass you anyway!"
JORGE! : "Deeed you sass me? I theenk you sassed me. Now I maul you! OLE!"
*bloodbath ensues*

So, in conclusion, RIP, Jorge, the amazing hispanic Jaguar... I hope you enjoy jaguar heaven.
I will make sure to avenge your death one day!
As for the zookeeper, that's what you get for sassing Jorge, bitch!
4 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[22 Feb 2007|01:36pm]
the train ran and thundered
through darkened tunnels
stopped to pick up passengers
and repeated
all day long
never tired

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

it runs on its tracks
and reflects my vacant eyes
in its windows
every morning
and every night

it carries me weightless from
whoever it is i'm running from
or whoever it is
i'm running to 

because really, i'm always doing

one or the other.

right now, i think i'm doing both.  
Kiss me?

[22 Feb 2007|01:28pm]

       the mundane isn't mundane enough
because between my homewrecking
and leading people on
somewhere             in the depths of my chest

i  feel something

   right now i am looking outside
           the branches are swaying with pigeon shit
and the weight of this horrid urban scenery
that i am so in love with

this is what i fucking asked for
this is what i fucking wanted...

i wanted to have my heart stolen
and ripped out
                        by a boy with brilliant eyes like his
i wanted the heavy locomotive drumming of hearts
under the tight confines of ribs and skin
i wanted skin against skin                        in a stranger's bedroom

this is what i wanted
this is what i got.

now it's getting a little harder to swallow
it's getting a little harder to breathe
and your body on top of mine

just isn't so weightless anymore. 

       so take this weight from me
this is my burden that i had to carry
for god knows how fucking long

       and under my blissful smiles
under my softly uttered words 

i am so unsure of what is to come.

                   for once, i have no idea
no idea
no idea

where any of this is going. 

Kiss me?

[18 Feb 2007|09:35pm]
i laid in his bed
fluorescent blue eyes and blinding smiles illuminating this darkened room
with the soft dim of the television reflecting off bare skin

collarbones exposed and deadly
as painful as my hipbones digging into your flesh
and i'd be lying if i said i've ever smiled this much, continously

so come on, come on

this is the beginning of everything
this is scary as fuck, but i'll take my time and wait for you

i promise i won't make this hurt
2 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[13 Feb 2007|08:37pm]
Reasons why you are my best friend in the world:
1. Surprising me with flowers and chocolates at school.
2. Knowing what drink I'm in the mood for, and what's in it. (Soy Caramel Machiatto, extra caramel,vanilla and stirred)
3. Same taste in interior decoration.
4. Moon River
5. I belong to me.
6. Black Walnut
7. Shoes
9. Photobooth pictures.
10. The job you got me.
11. Moving in together.
12. We laugh at everything together.
13. Chainsmoking.
14. Peach and mango Yogen Fruz.
15. SHOES!!!
16. Handbags
17. "Mhhhhm, girl!!"
18. Moving in with you <3
19. You have a beard.
20. You never cease to amaze and make me smile.

I could never imagine picking anyone else to spend 24 hours a day with me.
I love you, Doug.

Kiss me?

On my weekend, Bukowski, and stuff. [12 Feb 2007|09:21pm]
I in a really strange mood as of a couple of days ago, I'm not happy or depressed or indifferent or anything. I just am...It's weird. Apparently I've also become incredibly inarticulate this past week.
This weekend, I attended a party at my friend Matt's house, and got incredibly sick from drinking too much,too fast. To quote Raven, who joined me that night, "Beer is not your friend." I also woke up with blood all over my face...Nothing like waking up in a pool of your own blood to start your day off right. I fucking hate nosebleeds.
On a semi-different note, I just really wish Doug and I can move out already... Richmond Hill depresses me to no end. Today, when I went to look at my schedule at Sterling, him and I went to the curtain store to look at blinds and curtains to match the one item of furniture we already have (a really art-deco olive couch). I guess we are going with a nature theme for our living area (browns,white,greens).

Shopping list for our apartment:
Bathroom stuff - shower curtain, soap dispenser,dish, toothbrush holders etc, towels
Kitchen stuff - Nice tea set, champagne and wine glasses,regular glasses, dinner set, cutlery, msgic bullet, knives, dish rack, towels, skillet, pots and pans, kettle,coffee maker + misc. utensils (anything else?)
Living area- TV, plants,bookcase (check), coffe table (check), shelves, vases, curtains and blinds, chairs, picture frames, soft lighting fixture (check), accent lighting(check).
My bedroom- which is a solarium, will require creative skills involving insane ammounts of fabric in the summer. I already have an idea, I just hope it won't cost over $100, we're not rich or anything.

We are expecting to spend about $1000 on whatever is left over from the above list, but despite having an innate sense of home decor, we are also both thrifty and smart shoppers. This is separate from whatever painting the place will cost us... We are also looking for a third roomate, so if you're not annoying, not exceptionally messy, and won't mess with any of our decorating decisions, let me know. It'll be $400 a month, and you won't have to pay for any of our crazy decorating schemes.

In conclusion, I guess life is good... I just hope I get out of this silly mood sometime soon.
4 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

I deserved this. [07 Feb 2007|07:15pm]
So, as you might know, as of today I retired from RHHS. I now go to SEED, where my schedule looks like this:

Monday, 1 hour
Tuesday, 6 hours
Wednesday, 6 hours
Thursday,4 hours
Friday, 2 hours

It's downtown, and there's cute boys there :) Less than 20 hours of school a week...

ALSO, I got a new job, where I get paid $8.75 + %10 percent comission( we make about $3000 a day, which means $300 a day), AS well as a %40 discount on everything, AND a $150 bonus a month.

LASTLY, I found a sweet apartment and Doug and I are moving out in June. I owe him so much for getting me this job, and for being such an awesome friend. (L) I just love him to deathhhh.

1 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[05 Feb 2007|02:45pm]
Is it strange that despite my disappointment in a number of things and people, my problems at school and everything else, I haven't been this content in a long time? Somehow, despite all of this, I fall asleep with a smile on my face every single night... I attribute this to my close friends always being there for me, no matter what, and my blatant refusal to interract with men in a more than platonic manner. I figure that if someone worthwhile comes along, I'll figure it out eventually...I'm in no rush whatsoever. These past two months have been great, and though at first I went out on dates and stuff, right now I'm not really interested in anyone. The only male I'm somewhat interested in is currently in the same position as I am, so neither of us is rushing into anything.

What else?If all goes well, I am going to be transferring into Avondale tomorrow, and moving out sometime in July (I found an apartment for Doug and I, and perhaps a third roomate). It's located right by St. Patrick, and though it's theoretically subsidized housing, it's a really nice place in the middle of everything. I just got a new job at Sterling Shoes in Hillcrest, which would be my third job in the mall in under three months, but it won't be so bad because I'll be working with Doug. In all honesty, I love this boy so much, and can't wait to move in with him. We have the same taste in boys, so I trust he won't bring any jerks over, and we have the same taste in home decor, so we won't argue endlessly over colour schemes and the like...

I don't know, overall, I'm just really excited for everything right now... I have a feeling everything's going to work out just fine.
2 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[16 Jan 2007|02:52pm]

blood rushed to my lips
   into my brain
and it was the most
exhilarating feeling ever

and it was    so simple
to make him mine

the hard part is always keeping him,
kind of like fireflies,i guess.

yeah, kind of like fireflies...

Kiss me?

[15 Jan 2007|11:51am]
I can't remember the last time it was this easy to breathe...
Change is good. 

I want to edit this later on, and throw in some pictures from Europe and other parties. I went through so many friends, hair styles, clothes in the past 6 months, it's ridiculous.
Identity crisis much?

Hey, at least now I know who I am.
4 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[11 Jan 2007|11:01pm]
I have a private writing journal that I use for writing that I don't deem appropriate for most of my friends to read, because frankly, most of you are judgemental assholes. Some of the writing alludes to my promiscuity, which is why I am not going to let some of you see it.
So, if you want to read it, let me know, and if I think you won't be a dick about it, I will add you to my friends list.
2 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[11 Jan 2007|09:53pm]
Things that I have that currently make me happy:
*a ticket to Explosions in the Sky
*a few really awesome friends
*food in my tummy (Dominion fries @Blayne's)
*Size one jeans that are big on me no matter how often I try to shrink them
*no annoying significant other!!!
*no one to call me "baby" 24/7, or smother me with "I-love-you"s
*plans for a new tattoo, on which occasion I will get my stupid inner lip one retouched.
*A TRIP TO PUNTA CANA apres les examinations

Fuck, life is great.
1 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

Tonight... [28 Dec 2006|12:46am]
"Your mouth is bigger than your heart."
-Rino James "RJ" Matarazzo.
Kiss me?

[22 Dec 2006|12:32am]
Girls I love:
Kiss me?

[14 Dec 2006|12:45am]
The best part is that it's over a month after the fact, and EVERYONE, including him is absolutely clueless.
I have no idea how I pull these things off.
Kiss me?

[12 Nov 2006|01:23am]
Okay, so this is a really funny story, and something I need your help with as well.

My dad bought me a bunch of stuff from Hot Topic(AHAHAHA) while he was in the states, because being a father, he is musically ignorant. Since I obviously don't like shitty music, I am selling it.
I have an AFI messenger bag, and a taking back sunday shirt in a youth large. The shirt is white, with a microphone looped several times around the neck.
Please buy this shit off of me,since I'd rather not have it lying around my house.
It has the tags on and everything, and is in the Hot Topic bag it came in.


12 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

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